Turtle Can Fly

Trespassing the Forbidden City

2008-03-30T11:52:00.004+08:00

30th March 2008 11:55pm Bright Sunday morning

Feeling kinda screwed up lately. Not that i really did screw anything up, guess its just a feeling of overwhelming unhappiness. There is this sudden urge to get out of this hot, humid, tasteless country, happens to me whenever i came back. This sense of despair will religiously tagged along with me the moment i set foot on Singapore ground.

Almost surely, this feeling of distress intensifying itself with every trip I made.

Slowly I begin to question or even try to balance this internal struggle within me. Personal freedom on the right and all my attachments, commitments, friendship and kinship on the left. Is there anything in Singapore that is worth staying? This place is almost like a concrete rainforest. Everyday you can hear noisy horns from drivers trapped in their miserably small looking cars, rude, dead looking commuters u see helplessly on the trains, rising cost of living, materialistic society, and a whole load of more shit under this thick, humid atmosphere. Thats Singapore for u. Ungraceful, cold, no history, ugly HDBs sprouting everywhere and high rise apartments almost creating a impossible maze around us, making everyone even more narrow minded in their perspectives than ever before.

Like the Russians call it (refering such housing structure), "people living in cages".

Sigh.

Came back from Beijing recently, though Tammy and gang isnt there for me this time, I had a totally new or even better experience from what I had in Taiwan. In fact I am largely captivated by Beijing's rich unrivaled history, something which i personally feel, that none of the cities i been to can even come close. History and deep communism ideology aside, I realise the younger generations are able to gel both their roots and demands of modernization seamlessly together. This is, in the good example of Michelle, a Swets colleague in beijing office. Thanks to her i had a wonderful time and a deeper understanding of Beijing.

Michelle is a cafe hunter, art appreciator, bossa nova addict and carries a soft spot for animals. No surprise we clicked almost instantaneously. She brought me to many interesting and cozy cafes in Beijing, many I thought a tourist like me can never discover on our own. Some of these cafe are so exotic, they managed to hide themselves brilliantly along those dark narrow alleys of those old low roof houses that are probably centuries old. Imagine the nostalgic feel these cafes are able to bring out from the coffee we sipped, the cheesecakes we tasted, the old classics from the radio or even the freezing air we breathe. None of these could ever exist in my shit hole country.

check this out

http://www.nlgx.org/area-directory/food-drinks/sandglass-cafe/

Sand Glass Cafe 沙漏咖啡



Michelle

Peking Roast Duck

刷羊肉

天安门

The Forbidden Playground

The irony of power.

颐和园 - The summer Palace

wish am there this very moment now...

Bryan

我的简单生活. Taiwan

2008-03-29T15:04:00.005+08:00

29th March 2008 3:05pm Humid Saturday

Right. not exactly the right mood to begin with, but well, since I've oredi got my mug of coffee with me and loads of dying afternoon songs over the radio, I'll try to scribble something here.

Anyone of u watched the 2nd season of the show, " 简单就是美 " hosted by lin pei fen~ ? Hmm I can assure u that i am so captivated by the show that till today I still couldnt accept the fact that the series has ended. Thats got to be the best show ever to grace Channel U . Basically, peifen travels around to look for people and places that stands out with their own definition of simplicity. The one that left me the deepest impression would be a owner of an organic tea plantation in Taiwan. His name is 小周.

小周 took over his dad's tea plantation after a accident that lost two of his fingers. His passion for tea made determined to turn the plantation "organic". However he wish to turn the plantation organic, he can never compete with the production line of other plantations in terms of volume, cost and pricing. This cost 小周 to operate at loss for the past 10 years. Still he is determined not to risk harming his tea with chemicals because his tea ask him not to.

"小周喜欢与茶说话."

Well, its facinating because if he ever did something wrong in the process of harvest, ferment, roast and preserve his tea leaves, his tea will be able to "tell" him from the first sip of his tea. This is how 小周与茶说话.

小周 never use a single drop of insecticide or artificial fertilizers for his tea plantations, basically he does everything by himself... all with his pair of blistered hands. Soft hearted PeiFen then ask him why doesn't he get a machine or somebody to help him out.

小周 smiled and replied, "If I ever use machine one day, my tea plantation would have become a production line..... 我就在也做出一杯我小周的茶了"

I was like... wat de?? how cool was tat?

Hence I called Tammy eagerly that very night, I wana ask her if there are any nice tea plantations I can visit. Somehow I guess my stars did heard my pathetic pleas, Tammy happens to live in nan tou famous for their tea plantations! And being my god mum, Tammy promised to plan everything sui sui for me. hee Oh gosh~ how fantastic things can turn out to be?

ha..Unfortunately for Tammy, she had to spent the next 15 mins listening to my 小周 story. =P

http://poeticlifejourney.blogspot.com/

well, it sort of sums up my motivation behind my business trip to Taiwan. *sips coffee*

I dun wana go on about what eventually happened in Taiwan office, where I realise that are lots of people out there who are holding high positions when in fact they couldnt really make it at all.... plain retard.

Imagine a middle aged female country manager asking a favor from a 28 year old regional product manager to sell her products for her, beg my Managing Director Asia to lower her GP targets for her, advise her on product strategies and best of all, help her to keep her best staff for her. (In this case Tammy, my god mum).

Then back stabs him on his back when he returns to Singapore. Unfortunately for her, my MD is too smart for this move and made her eat her words eventually.

Anyway, enuff said on how stoopid she is. No wonder God Mum is fuming.

Well, that is some short history that is not worth mentioning. Eventually Li Ann, Iris, Tammy (All from Taiwan Office) and I spend 3 wonderful days together at Taichung and Tai nan =D

wooo

Winter in Taipei, a scene in Jimmy's art works?

Tammy's best friend, Cherry's Tea plantation cum factory

Mr Liu, owner of a coffee plantation in Taichung. quit his high paying job in Taipei, set up a small coffee plantation and cafe on the hills of Tai Chung. Another 小周 personality =)

Believe it or not, I had "Buddha jump over the wall" for Breakfast! Thanks Grandma!

Morning walk round the village with Tammy, Li Ann and Iris after our heavy breakfast. Tai Nan

Paintings by local kids can be found on the walls of most houses.

Under the shades of Tammy's ancestors' house

The three Taiwanese girls looking over me while i lie on the doorsteps. Air's cool and quiet.. sky's blue and clear. what a bliss...

Waving Tammy's Grandma goodbye. Thanks so much for your warm hospitality. =)

Coffee over the breathtaking scene of the sunset. Tai Chung.
Frankly, I wouldnt exchange this for anything in the world.

Back to reality, ... Sigh

Not if I am surrounded by the babes. =)

Well that's about my trip in Taiwan.

Cant think of a word that is good enough to describe this bond i have with these gals. Of all the many places i been to, Taiwan has got to be the one which i find the most 人情味. But yeah, none of these would be possible without Tammy, Li Ann and Iris.

Thanks for everything.

Sincerely,

Bryan

Oranje

2008-02-07T17:35:00.000+08:00

7th February 2008 5:37pm Lunar New Year First Day

BORED. If there is a better word u might find that is able to better intensify it further, cool... u got the idea. Whats with the CNY visits anyway, could tell from those faces, everyone seems to be simply doin for the sake of doin it, do they really enjoy visiting each other? if they are that sincere why wait until CNY. Crappy pple... Anyway, this surely will be the last time i celebrate CNY.. for good.

Four months since i wrote anything here.. surely things happened. Like it or not these events just comes and goes, no one can possibly have any control over them or wat so ever. Sort of procrastinating my return just so it wun remind me of those sad moments.

A v close uncle of mine has passed away lately, v nice, honest, hardworking and humble man. Just before his death, he asked the doc how on earth did he got cancer, thats the first time he ever lost his cool. He was 62. Earlier, another fren of mine whom i known since poly days passed away in a motorcycle accident, an event absolutely no fault of his. Very polite, friendly and positive minded guy. Just moved into a new apartment with his gf... Both he and my uncle are surely one of the nicest pple i ever ever knew my whole life. These are the guys whom i knew deep down i can never have a personality half as good, never will be.

Reminds me of Darren who is always motivating and stressing his fav quote, "Life isnt fair, live it to the fullest while you can. "

These are the events that probably changed my perception of life pretty drastically. I no longer look forward to marriage, kids or be allowed myself tied down to by anything. Still wasnt that sure that i will see life as it is, but at least until someone or any event comes along that manage to change my mind, i will stick to it like a divine inspiration to life.

Well not everything's that gloomy tho, landed myself in a new working environment, new boss, role, colleagues as well as more responsibilities. Cant tell for now if this is a smart move, so far everything seems fine, probably a couple of colleagues whom i felt i could click at first sight. Darren and Tammy especially, cool pple to mingle with~

Came back from Netherlands a couple of days ago, just in time for CNY crap. Should have gone straight to phuket, probably i will do that every CNY. So hows Netherlands? pretty ok, but wasn't really the best European country i would recommend. Sky's either too dark and gloomy or the wind's just too strong and chilling to walk comfortably on the streets. Not many grand architectures or cathedrals that fascinates me as compared to the time i was at Saint Petersburg, no fireworks to see, no hour glass blond babes that u can see with ur eyes closed in Russia. Probably what stands out most would be the famous Amsterdam Red Light District, then again like Victor puts it, "i wouldnt fuck them even if they pay me a 100 euro", enuff said abt the quality of the girls over there.

Then of coz of my most fav, the Van Gogh museum, probably more than 100 of his masterpieces and scribbles are exhibited, most fascinating is the way they exhibited his works, its like walking thru time, tells us alot abt van gogh's mental drive right from the beginning, his inspirations and art influences over his works, his battle against depression as well as his ever burning passion for art, of coz how tragically fate played against him. Very sad end.

Well still, we managed to visit the famous "coffeeshops" for their weed of coz, surely an enchanting first experience to forgot all sorrows. =P

So thats abt it. Netherlands, will be back pretty soon i guess, probably 2 or 3 times a year? Taiwan and China are still the places i look forward to, Asians are still my cup of tea, hopefully my new role can bring me there. Likewise, this job brings me places round the globe but not as much as my previous one, good or bad? still too early to tell. but like the divine inspiration suggests, "live life to the fullest while u can", i will stick to it and see where it brings me to.

Bryan

Mission to Anfield

2007-09-29T02:38:00.000+08:00

29th September 2007 3:15am

Astonished by how quickly time flies. By monday, i wld be 1 year into my job.... I should be feeling happy, shouldnt I? Afterall, this job has brought me to lots of places, places that i thought i might never be able to go.. not at least b4 i turn 30. Places like the Hermitage museum at St Petersburg where some of Leonardo da Vinci's most famous work are kept.. and of coz, also places like THE KOP.. Yes, Anfield stadium, pride of Liverpool... still can't believe that i was actually right at its door steps staring at the famous Paisley Gateway just some 20 over hours ago. Not even those who knew abt my relationship with Liverpool FC will be able to imagine how I feel there and then..no one, not even myself. Tell me its just a dream, i will believe u, honestly.

So now what? Am i a happy man now that i have accomplished some of my personal dreams with this company. If i tell you i am not as happy as i thought i should be, am i being unreasonable? Am i greedy, if i am going to say i wanted something more? something more pragmatic than merely giving the chances to go to places that are out of my dreams? Do i even deserve all these anyway?

Truly enjoyed my road trip to liverpool alone. From figuring out the surreal complexities of the subway to negotiating my way at the Euston train station and surving an creepy night in a 100 years old hotel.. frankly i didnt really missed anyone thru out this trip at all, simply indulged in the quietness of just me and my footsteps... and at that very moment, I know i am truly happy from within. Does this meant i am really an introvert in nature?

So what am i exactly? what am i to my parents? what am i to my sister? my gf? what am i to my friends? what am i to my colleagues? or even my boss? Ideally, I really really just wish to be me.. but i know i cant. i can never be the real me facing these people... simply becoz expectations of me from these pple are never the same. Sometimes i wish some these pple can be more understanding towards the decisions i made at certain given circumstances. Pleasing one party will surely upset another. After all, expectations is always a zero sum game isnt it? darn, hell wif it...

I wish i can meet someone like me... someone who totally thinks and feels exactly like me. Ever thought i met someone like that but it didnt work out.. so guess no such person exist or things just dun work like that.. at least not the way we wants it to be, no matter how desperately we wants it to be... yea?

so how far have i grown? still lazy to wake up every morning, still having difficulty controlling my finances, still cant communicate wif my dad, still finding the courage to love somebody again. Still the same old me... am i losing control of myself or am i allowing myself to be out of control?

From now onwards, i will be in control of my future. I have to do this... or else 20 years on, i will still be the same old me.

Bryan

London

Liverpool Central City

The KOP, Anfield

Friendly liverpuldian folks

Liverpool Store and Museum

Bill Shankly

Peter the Great

2007-08-29T23:57:00.000+08:00

30th August 2007 12:24am

2 weeks since i came back from St Petersburg... didnt wana write anything about it actually until a friend suggested i jot something here, well the fact i heed her advice i guess i do miss russia after all.

Didnt gave myself a real good rest since i am back in sg... back in the city of GREAT efficiency and modernization. Been working like a dog ever since. friends who seen the glamorous side of what i do will wonder in envy why i am able to travel so much ... well i am sure they do, ...coz they do not know a thing of what's really going on behind the scenes. sigh

anyway, i wont dwell on that aspect... lets just say i am still grateful for what going on for the first year in the company. Met some really wonderful colleagues, a fantastic mentor and a boss who so far held his promises to me. Am really grateful for that. Now i am approaching the second year, its time i consider things beyond myself, but the growth of the company as a whole which i felt got some real issues hanging.

Before i begin unnecessarily straying my frustrations here, think i better get back on track... back to russia.. St petersburg.. sigh a truly a magnificant place to visit. If i were to describe St Petersburg in just a few sentences, i would say its a small forgotten city yet so rich in history, arts and culture, its in fact a city museum made up of a string of grand royal palaces, memorials and statues, fireworks, magnificant cathedrals, beautiful women and a long legacy of world famous art pieces.

If there is only one place i will recommend, St Petersburg will surely be one of my top 5. I aint going to write anything more, coz my limited vocab will definitely ruin its beauty. Frankly, if you in a place whr u could see a train full of peaople 1030pm on any weekday, the quality of life isnt there at all.... Singapore just isnt the place for me...probably too fast to live in.

Looking back for the past one year, i've been to and worked with people from Thailand, Malaysia, USA and russia, seen working cultures from all sorts of industries and worked with people from almost all levels of managment, from picky japanese to humble Thai people to multi racial Americans to proud Europeans.. changed my profile 3 times, seen betrayal, seen crazy decisions being made, seen really naive leadership which i thought i last seen during schooldays... seen myself grown beyond i ever thought i will be. so finally... am still asking myself that same qns since a year ago. What is it that i really want?

sigh, cant believe am still asking myself that question since grad. frankly.. am still as loss.

what the heck..

cao

Peter the Great

Red square

Madona and Child by Leonado da vinci himself... omg

True enuff..

2007-07-30T15:23:00.000+08:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Quality of Life

2007-07-29T09:17:00.000+08:00

29th July 2007 6:20pm Fremont, San Francisco

4 days since stayed here, never a single day i missed home... this has to be one of the best trip ever

hmm.. wat can i say about this small town call fremont, its quiet, the weather is perfect, cool breeze, bright sun all at a right balance of 20 to 23 degrees, roads are clean, buildings are new, pple here are extremely laid back and friendly.. onli realised todae from one of the locals that is one of the most sought after and wealthiest places in USA... woosh..

anyway, colleague n i drove all the way to fisherman wharf yesterdae, abt an hour drive down their 880 highway towards bay bridge.. traffic's fine, no crazy taxis cutting our way, everyone driving at a consistant pace.. i've got the priviledge to do the navigation, well at least i can safetly say by now i should be able to navigate ard San Francisco without the map.. ^_^ the roads signs and orientation are pretty easy to read and understand anyway.. so anyone can do it.

Staying, toking and working with the pple here, gave me new perspectives that i believe someone purely here for a holiday will be unable to see... well that again remains strictly to my point of view. -- that is the quality of life here as compared to SG... makes me feel quality of life in SG is still light years away as compared to here.. or even, for geographical or cultural reasons we cld nvr even come near smth like that in the far future..

well take one of those nua days i spend here. i wake up in the morning, had breakfast, finished up my studies by noon. stepped out of the hotel, sun is strong and glaring yet, harmless infront of the cool weather... we then drove around the neighbourhood for food.. neighbourhoods can be like the size of amk and if i wana go to another neighbourhood i have to use the highway, that will probably take abt 5 mins of driving... just on the side of the highway, u can enjoy the magnificant view of a huge mountain clothed in withered vegetation due to the summer heat. along the way, u can see hundreds of huge malls and huge parking spaces... newpark mall, walmart, macys, meryvns, shears etc... they are build low, so u can acty see all of them across the land... in fact there really isnt any high rise buildings ard.. just look up and u will see miles n miles of lands and mountains across the horizon... any worries at this moment just seems to go away at an instant because u just feel so small...

unfortunately food here is expensive.. except maybe for starbucks (whose price is quite standard across the globe) a normal meal will cost ard SGD10... however, in terms of food quality and dining experience its much better here... u hardly see queues in restaurants or fast foods... no parking jams, no noisy students disturbance in the restaurants, no one rushing for their food, staffs here greets everyone wif the genuine smile and attitude.. yes thats the correct word, attitude.. even strangers or passerby stops to say "good morning" or "how are u doing?".... wish pple can be like that in sg..

we decided to go to starbucks for a cup of coffee... chose a table with a leafy shade and clear mountain view.. we are just sitting there enjoying the breeze... one significant thing abt SB here as compared to those in SG, tables and chairs are spread widely (ard 5 steps) away from one another...unlike in sg, u are unlikely to hear wat pple on the next table are toking abt, not sure if u experienced smth like that, sometimes the noice in the cafe (in SG) gets so loud u have to raise ur voice just trying to get ur words across to ur fren on the other side of the tiny table, ... fortunately everything here just seems so laid back, once u sat down, its really just u, ur coffee, the sound of distant jazz pieces and probably ur fren ard u. Same coffee same taste... completely different experience compared to sg... sigh

like all locals, we head for one of the supermarts and some shops for a walk.... when we thought things wld be expensive here, we are in for a shock.. things are truely cheaper and better quality that wat we have and seen in sg. prices of levis can cost u as low as 20USD, timberland, nike, and many other american brands going at rock bottom prices... well of coz, u'll know how these prices goes so cheap if u read about how US exploits 3rd world countries especially production lines, ship back these products back to their own pple at low prices and finally shipped out to the rest of the world at more than few hundreds of percentage profit margins... u will probably noe where our money goes to when u walk into raffles city and bought urself a pair of levis at $150...

anyway... there is nuthin that i wana stress here... just got carried away writting.. in reality, US is not exactly Fremont... seen beggers and homeless Aids victims suffering and begging for money in the streets... broken roads, and poorly furished homes in the city heart of san francisco.. at least the great divide btw the two classes isnt that huge back home... who cares anyway.

alrights gg for dinner, just hope to find my bumblebee soon.

cao.

Fremont, San Francisco.... First Day.

2007-07-26T13:08:00.000+08:00

26th July 2007 11:40pm Fremont, San Francisco

Finally here i am, on the other side of the world. thankfully everything here fits me.. perfectly. Not just the weather (ard 15 celsius), but also the quiet town, friendly pple, huge super malls, fast food, coffee and all.. peaceful place to stay ard for a couple of weeks. hmm especially wif ur loved one.. =)

Jet lag, new experience for me, fortunately, i do not need sleeping pills to recover myself, ha coz bascially i managed to sleep all the way till 4pm today..argh, wasted one full day tho T_T. My colleage Charles on the other hand, is finding difficulty sleeping.. onli managed to slp this morning, think shld just pass him my sleeping pill instead heh. Oh btw we reach here ard 10pm last night. (SF time)

The rest of the day was spent finding car rental, drive ard shopping malls, they've got really huge shopping malls, food and chill out places.. best of all, no crowds. woo.. but one thing still huants me from sg to here... all Transformers are sold out! i still cant find my bumblebee 08 sigh..

well aniwae, will try my luck again tml when we visit fisherman wharf.. woo!

have to keep reminding myself, am not here for holiday... not here for holiday.. not here for holiday.. not here for holiday..............................................

Ticket

Transit- HongKong

Barricade!

SGD$4.50 Sugar Cane juice...

Paradise ^_^

USA is all about supermarts, fast food and huge parking places....

see what i mean ...

Hotel View

Evening View..

Bryan

prayers

2007-05-23T15:36:00.000+08:00

23rd May 2007 5:40pm

please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please
please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please please

let liverpool beat AC Milan tonite.

The ultimate
Liverpool fan

Bryan

Cancerian woes

2007-05-20T16:52:00.000+08:00

You are 67% Cancer

How Cancer Are You?

Resurrection

2007-04-29T03:18:00.000+08:00

3:20am, Sundae 29th April 2007

Finally back from KL.. managed to catch jus enuff sleep to blog this in the middle of this cool rainy night, well, i am contented.. i really do. =)

Caught a movie on my way back home. "Must have Dogs" starring Diane Lane and John Cusack... sort of left me the deepest impression during this KL trip. hmm really love the movie.. cld really relate myself to the characters inside the movie and the things they say. the feeling of craving yet wary.. surely getting this movie at HMV on mondae. =)

hmm john cusack.. noticed certain similar traits inside the characters of romance films he's in. "Must have dogs" and "Serendipity" for example, he is always the sensitive guy.. , emotional and silly.. tendency to screwed things up in front of the gal he likes alot.. reminds me of some of myself in my earlier days.... sigh, nostalgic as i can be, am i still the old me?

well, whether i am the old me, better or worse.. doesnt really matters isnt it? wats most matters to me now is for my loved ones to be safe. i probably have to pick myself up and move on in order for me to be strong enuff to take care of them.. i am more focus now.. gona fight on to stay it that way.

Bryan

Travel sickness...any pill to cure it?

2007-04-21T03:38:00.000+08:00

3:40am, Saturdae 21th April 2007

One of those nights again when i juz wana stay quiet, simply stone in front of the screen... and just do nuthin.

Just came back from phuket, another two more days i will be leaving again.. this time to KL.. sigh. getting really tired with all that travelling. What is it that i want from my life? money? career of interest? or can i really have best of both worlds?... unlikely i can have both. sigh... why am i feeling this way. How can i find happiness? how does it feels like exactly?

"hws your phuket trip?" everyone asked. Frankly, it isnt anything i expected, and i certain cant say for sure i enjoyed it. hate spending a big deal of my time in a shopping mall, hate waiting.. hate not being myself.

anyway... not really that extend of hate.. feeling exhausted i guess.

some photos to share.

nite

Friday the 13th

2007-04-13T14:39:00.000+08:00

2:45pm, Friday the 13th April 2007 rainy

Another hour to go before i catch the plane to phuket. hmm... Friday the 13th, Thailand's Songkran Festival as well as my convocation day ... Spend the whole morning in school, saw a couple of familiar faces, some hi and byes, few sweet memories...

hmm cldnt explain in words wats gg thru my mind.. happy? lost? or challenged? .... guess i will just leave them behind for the time being =)

probably be gtg.. hopefully the rain stops and stays there for my whole trip in phuket.

cao

Lagon Krup~

2007-03-24T23:25:00.000+08:00

1:15am 25th MArch 2007, My Room

Finally back in my familiar nest in sg. phew.. a place i noe i am suppose to be happy, .. but.. hmm sigh! ha i am siao~

i miss thailand!! argh

3rd night in BangKok

probably one of the finest, if nt the best night i ever had in thailand. Didnt travel alot really, picked up a colleague from the airport after work, had a simple nice decent tom yam meal juz round the corner of the alley, tried thai traditional massage (and yes, just so happen, showing justirisers on TV making my time there twice as shiok! =P), hang out at Mayfair Bar again right thru the night b4 making a 2 min walk back to hotel. everything seems so simple and routined, exactly the kind of things i wld do if i am stayin in bangkok for good..
Perhaps, its their slower pace that suits and attract me most. Unlike in singapore where everything is abt efficiency and effectiveness, the thais are more humble and receptive to pple ard them.. at least thats wat i observed. I dunch think pple in sg are as receptive as them. sigh...

ha the girls at MayFair Bar was great tat night, they recognised me and asked if i am here for the thai song Pae Jai again.. ha.. they are probably tired of singing that same song 3 nights in a row... heheh, acty come to think of it, i tik i have spent more than $1500 baht on this song "Pae Jai" alone ... been gg MayFair Bar everynight ever since i set foot in thailand.. omg, if i stay there... surely am gg to broke T_T

old man went up the stage to do a 'loud' piece =P

Day 4, last night in Bangkok..

feeling really exahausted, been heading to MayFair Bar for three consecutive nights, the girls are tired singing the same song, i am tired dragging myself to hotel 230am in the morning.. zzz. Had a decent tom yam meal at a v quiet restaurant wif thai colleagues after work. Ratchapol, Nam, Tar and Ron were wif us tonite. There is this one man band playing his guitar and singing in the restaurant. Unexpectedly, Ron (who hardly speak any english at all which is oso y i didnt speak much to him in my 3 days there in office) acty went up and dedicate the song Pae Jai for me~ T_T sob , so gan dong.. in return i called him my, plenn suai means beautiful friend in thai. =) Ron and i didnt speak much but i cld tell he is v sincere.. simple gestures like these touches pple.. smth i know i will nvr see in SG..sigh. Tar is also another fren whom i hoped to have interact more wif. ha i know he is a liverpool supporter, he plays striker in his team.. fresh grad, young and v v v v humble person =) with his limited english, he told me, he wld like to speak more to me, but it is v difficult for him to speak more. i cld tell frm his eyes he really mean it. thank Tar, really appreciate it. =)

Me, Nicole, Sansini, Tar and Nam

Ron, Sansini and Tar

steamboat lunch

Went to Khao San tat night instead, didnt expect to be such a vibrant nite spot, basically its a nite bazzar cum lots of happening place to chill.. there are probably more ang mohs than locals there.. ha nice place to hang out~

cocktail at a road stall

24th MArch Last day in bangkok

Decided to spent the whole dae at chatuchak weekend mart b4 leaving for the airport in the late afternoon. place so big, u can almost find anything u wan over there.. clothes, painting, accessories, puppys, birds, paintings, art pieces, furnitures and so on... ha heavenly sight for nicole. i didnt really shop alot tho, if given a choice i rather spend my time at MayFair BAr =P... spent most of my time there at the art section selling all the art pieces, lifestyle furnitures, music ... before sitting down at this fruit juice store.. juz to find a shade away from the burning afternoon heat. phew.. perfect way to spent the weekend. =)

watermelon plus kiwi smoothie : 65 Baht

Bangkok Airport.. seriously lacking the thai spirit.

surely gg back thailand again... thanks Ruangdate for your Thai Songs~!

13th to 17th April. Phuket

Lagon Krup

Bryan

Pae Jai.... in Thailand day 2

2007-03-22T17:57:00.000+08:00

22nd March 2007 1:30am first night in Bangkok,

Here I am back at Mayfair bar, the three beautiful philipino girls doin their thing again. EngKiat was wif me this time. He was is quiet self as usual, but I cld tell he is enjoying himself =)

First day of work in Thailand wasn’t so bad after all. Gave a presentation in the morning, helped Thailand office solved a client requirement in the afternoon, visited their office of agriculture and economics for an User acceptance test and (thanks to Ruangdate, Tar and ratchapol) happily learned many thai words todae ha.. truly, sincerely fallen in love wif this place oredi. =)

Took a train to Siam Square. One thing am gg to mention abt taking trains in Bangkok, is the weird smell I have to endure thru out the squeezy train ride, ha fortunately wif an average height of 1.65m among the thai girls, my 1.77 frame gave me the perfect position to smell the fragrance of their hair hah =D. Head for Lumphuni, bought some stuff, had a drink at a local bar. Hmm decided against gg to tiger show coz engkiat wasn’t keen. Probably gg to psycho Nicole to go wif me tml T_T

Doin their final piece now.. which probably sums up my 2nd day in Thailand. Another 3 more days to go.. appreciating and luving my job every minute here… finally my hard work for the past 6 mths paid off.. phew
Oh, please check out this thai song “Pae Jai”… according to the singer, it means “lose your heart”..

surely am gg to get my hands on this song from colleagues tomolo =P

the girls at MayFair BAr... girl on the right hand side is the prettiest! =P

Lug (love) Thailand! >_<

Bryan

First Night in Bangkok

2007-03-21T17:44:00.000+08:00

21am March 2007 12:23am, first night in Bangkok,

Stepped my foot on this familiar yet foreign land 4 hours ago, had dinner at a road stall which probably served the best duck hor fan I ever ate my whole life. Night was as usual too early for a young working Singaporean. Call me desperate or bored, unbelievably I fork out 100baht (approx SGD$5) for a mere pathetic 30 mins of wireless connection. Sent an email, chat with 5 frens who all enthusiastically telling me all the places I shld visit in Thailand… thanks guys..really appreciate it =) … Sharon, curry and jan, dunch worry la, eventually I did managed to control myself >_-

Ha for readers out there, the hotel I am living in, simply made up of juz 3 races. The Ang Mohs, The Chinese mostly Sinagporeans and lastly, young, beautiful, sweet and cleavage exposed thai hookers.. really an amazing feat for any healthy full blooded guy to stay in control… *pat myself on the shoulder” =p

Fast before I cld finish even half the bottle of beer, I was cruelly cut off from the rest of the world. Gutted, I decided to take my laptop for a walk ard the area. Juz a short bend ard the corner there are 3 huge massage centres. Took a peep inside one of them, I saw a large room partitioned by a huge glass window stretching from ceiling to the floor. Sitting inside are all the so call massage ladies whr humsup guys like us can make our pick. No surprise the oldest trade in the world simply lives on.

Juz across the street was a hotel much bigger than mine. Probably a 5 star shit. Decided to check out the place. True enuff, the place is posh and furnished.. walking deep into the building smth caught my eye. A poster of a house band, made up of 3 incredibly beautiful singers (one of them is my type! Haha). They are singing all the uncle songs I listens to every night on class 95.. ha exactly the tonic I needed to survive thru the night. Pampered myself a glass of white, here I am finishing this blog in front of this three brightly dressed singers. Wats the name of this bar again?

MayFair Bar. Emrald Hotel... hmm nvr knew travelling alone can be so enchanting..

Surely comin in again tml.

Bryan

2007-03-14T02:14:00.000+08:00

2:10am 14th March 2007

Don't Write Me Off

It's never been easy for me
To find words to go along with a melody
But this time there's actually something on my mind
So please forgive these few brief awkward lines
Since I met you my whole life has changed
It's not just my furniture you've re-arranged
I was living in the past
But somehow you've brought me back
and I haven't felt like this since before Frankie said relaxand
now I know based on my track record
I might not seem like the safest bet
All I'm asking you is Don't write me off just yet

For years I've been telling myself the same old story
That I'm happy to live off my so called former glories
but you've given me a reason
to take another chance
now I need you despite the fact
that you've killed all my plants
and now I knowi've already blown more chances
than anyone should ever get
all I'm asking you is
don't write me off just yet
don't write me off just yet

Wonderful Song...

Bryan

Waiting for the morning sunshine...

2007-02-11T04:52:00.000+08:00

4:55am Sun 11th February 2007 peaceful night in my room.

eyes switching off... typo errors irritates my every sentence..guess i am tired. Love songs on class 95 reminds me the last time i was in love... the last time i was missing someone badly, the last time my heart is shattered into bits and pieces... was it 2 yrs ago? maybe shorter...

ha, Valentine's day juz round the corner. . accompanied qb todae getting a v day gift for his gf.. cld almost see the bliss in his eyes when he choose the diamond pendent... juz like every other happy couples out there, v day is a chance to do that little bit special for their special someone... exchange their vows if they wish to.. lovely

"25 minutes" on the radio now.. a hit song in my time in sec sch.... now that i am approaching 27, amazing to realise that i was always the one late for everything.. i am late for classes all the time, late for work, late to mature compared to my peers, late to fall in love, late to learn how is it like to really love someone, late to realli understand how to appreciate somebody, late to tell her how i feel... always late for everything... always losing out things i hold v dearly.... guess i am all screwed up.

Some frens thought i am still missing her, tot i didnt let go... some thought i lost the courage to love somebody again, some even said i am too fussy wif the type of gals i am looking for... sigh, am i? well, i dunch tik i am either of above.. but i wat i do know is, i will certainly know who she is, the moment she comes to my life...

another 2 hours b4 the sun comes out...... am still waiting..

nitez

Bryan

Riser Kageri~!

2007-01-16T02:05:00.000+08:00

11:35am Mon 15th January 2006 cozy night

Stopped raining finally.. perhaps its a sign that i shld let wat ever happened last week go as well.

Last week was like a roller coaster ride, nt that there were huge ups n downs, juz that everything is happening so fast and hard that events seems blurry as i try to recall them... there were appointments almost everydae, one of the days i was rushing 3 of them consecutively, heavy downpours makes travelling even more difficult. On top of all that, joeric n I have to do the customization of a software for a POC of a tender on Fri; which we have no idea how it can be done. I even got to learn VB frm scratch... T_T

Joeric n I arent even programmers to begin wif, all we can do is to look for "patterns" in the code trying to figure out what these patterns can or cannot do. Then we have to painfully piece these patterns together hoping to seek meaning out of it, meanwhile trying to see hw these patterns can perform to certain functions required by the tender specs..

Its a long a tedious task, everydae it rained, everydae we stayed in front of our screens till 10pm... everydae i climbed the same flight of stairs to the same carpark, everydae i looked at the same streetlights out of joeric's car window. All i can think of is how the tender gg to turn out on fri....

Thurs 935pm: Rain

Miraculously, we finally broke the code. phew.. we did it?

Fridae 830am: Still raining

We are late for the tender due to traffic jam, also shocked to see 20 over gatekeepers sitting there waiting to evaluate our solution. Then joeric told me i will be the one doin the presentation. Exhausted, unprepared and inexperienced, there can onli be one outcome.

Utter failure.
Lost the 20k deal in mins. sigh

I am still far frm being what they wan me to be but credit to joeric and stephy, who encouraged me all the way, dun think i can meet colleagues like that elsewhr. Despite certain amt of negative energy within the company, i still believe this is the perfect enviroment for me to grow. Hmm didnt really tik that far anyway.., all i am gg to do is to remain true to myself, follow my heart, am sure things will turn out fine...

Mondae, rain stopped..

Bought the the dynamic trio of Justirisers todae~ finally!! I tik i am in love wif Riser Kageri! The blue armour over her boobs is so shinny i can almost see my humsup face on it. Had a hard time looking for Riser Glen and Riser Gant, thks to Kenneth's info, managed to get them at Toys R Us.

Time to slp.

bryan

Resolution

2007-01-05T01:33:00.000+08:00

12:35am Thurs 5th January 2006 cozy night

Post festive syndrome... period of reflection and anticipation... hmm i remembered exactly one year ago, right this very moment, i was busy rushing projects..busy planning my escape route out of school. I hated school actually, too much of time wasted on things i feel are pretty crappy n useless. Outdated Textbooks, boring lectures, crappy thesis, overdue projects... I am juz there doin watever i am doin because i have to, becoz i have to do it thats why i am here. thats wat i felt... everything especially the future seems so vague and tiring. All becoz I know i can do so much more...

Fortunately, or miraculously, i did well in exams.... at least thats the onli thing i felt i didnt let my folks down. I know exactly how difficult it was to put two naughty kids to uni, i dunch wana let them down, probably thats wat kept me going. Eternally grateful to them really...

Decided to give myself a one mth break, always wanted to consolidate all my past works and put them up on the web... tiring but fruitful process, however...with that I never realise i am actually digging my very own grave ... nvr tot i am nvr going to pick up that brush again....whr did my passion go? sigh

Took me ard two months to find this job, how an application for a marcom position ended up as a sales engineer and now a product specialist within 3 short months remains a mystery... but i do know that i have come to know a very very nice group of colleagues... especially my manager, whom not onli taught me alot alot as a mentor but also a fren whom i can relate to. Everyone seems happy working together... sadly, he is leaving too big a pair of boots for me to fill, if given a choice, I will nvr wan to take over his duties .. nvr will i wana do that. sigh.

So back to where i am writing this blog of mixed emotions... i need my daily dosage of coffee now... nice sad songs on class 95 still.. sometimes i guess i need someone to tok to or tell me wat is the right thing to do, but well, life has to go on... so wats next?

I guess I will still probably be who i am... someone who feels he can do much more, a pillar whom my colleagues can depend on, someone who is eternally grateful to the many pple whom one way or another gave me a helping hand when i am low and down, someone who luvs his coffee late at night, still the crazy guy who believes fairy tales do exists...

and definitely, someone who juz escaped out of school....

bryan

Mondae Rain

2006-12-18T18:46:00.000+08:00

9:31pm Sat 18th December 2006 Rainy Night

37 days since i last updated my blog... tats more than a month i guess, things happened as fast as they could, really snappy... pple come and go, friendship built, peace interrupted, work appreciated, morale shaken, lessons learned... but at the end of the day, i guess i am still happy... happy to be here. =)

Read an interesting article on Life Section of Straits Times todae, tot maybe i share it here.

Getting to grips with a woman's ire

I have always thought that the reason men get into so much trouble with women is that men are insensitive clods. That's y man is forever apologising to the women for some disgression or other. While women for some reason, never seems to do anything wrong. They dun even break a wind.

I wondered if the modern women was exploiting men's 'insensitive' reputation and then using anger and a remarkable ability to cry on demand as a way to gain relationship leverage.

One night out wif the boys after abt five or six beers-- i decided that the answer is YES.

What ultimately sway my decisions were the stories my friends told of their run ins with their gfs. JT told of the time he was hit by a gf's anger tsunami becoz he didnt tok to her enough at a inner party. Wats interesting is that many of the other guys were at this same party and mainly chatted among themselves while the girls engaged in their girl talk. No one evidently not even JT noticed anything amiss.

That is until he went home and she gave him a dreaded silent treatment.

This led me to a few observationabt the nature of female anger.

Observation 1: Woman wld rather get angry wif man than get wat they wan. If there is an opportunity to get wat they wan, a woman will wait until it closes so that she can get really angrywith a man and he cannot do anything about it.

Observation 2: Woman often commit the same crime as menbut dun get it trouble for it.

Observation 3: A man will not always know wat he did to make a woman angry. Woman are always aware of this and often entertain themselves by making men squirm as they are made to guess what their crime is.
even at the off chance men get it right, woman will nvr admit it.

Girl: Do you even noe why i am so angry wif u?

Me: Because I made u wait at te bus stop for two hours in the pouring rain while i went to play computer games?

Girl: No. its abt Respect.

Observation 4: A woman is capable of getting angry at nearly anything.

Observation 5: If for some reasons a woman cannot find anything to get angry with, she will devise one.

Looking at it all together, I am forced to conclude that woman secretly dun mind alot of the stuff we do. They must enjoy the power trip they get from being angry.

So wat's a poor guy to do? Ignoring it is possible if u dun mind dying alone. I say play them at their own game. Next time she does smth that could, in theory upset u. --- Cry

--- Jeremy Au Yong

Pretty interesting article isnt it? but i guess those guys whom have not been thru any relationship at all will buy the whole thing written above entirely.. though i wun deny agreeing to some of the observations made. :P well i guess girls seek love and attention more than guys... sadly, guys are nvr the best creatures to express their love not even to the same girl they will ever loved their whole life.

Trust me, I am a pathetic good example of that.

Anyway.. Xmas is coming, ...season of sharing and love.. I will probably be at home on Xmas eve or hiding at one corner of some quiet cafe serving hot mocha, reading a story book, fairy tale of "The Little Prince" a fren gave me. Thks for the book, really appreciate it. u noe who u are. =)

night
Bryan

Peel me a grape...

2006-11-11T00:49:00.000+08:00

12:40am Sat 11th November 2006

Watched a really wonderful movie todae, A Good Year , simply luv everything abt it...the story, the house, the trees, the scenary, the old jazz, the girls .. hmm maybe its exactly the kind of life i craved my entire life... feeling nostalgic oredi..

Maybe i shld start applying the law of attraction in order for it to come true. Law of attraction they say, are acty powerful forces within us which are able to shape the things ard us the way we 'want' it to be. Juz by thinking abt wat we want in our lives, our minds can acty released a huge amt of energy that cld interacts wif the forces of the universe to give us watever we 'want' in our lives. However since it is a law, it cant differenciate right or wrg, yes or no.. juz like law of gravity, so wat if u are a good person, u fell from 12 stories, u lose ur life.

Same goes for the law of attraction, the moment u start thinking of smth bad, everything bad will come one after another. For example, sometimes when u had a bad day, u missed the train, u came to office drenched in the rain, work piles up like nobody business, boss gave u impossible deadlines... everything doesnt seem to go right for u, u will start thinking "why so suay?" so the more u keep thinking how unlucky u are, the more unlucky u will become. thats how law of attraction works.

Law of attraction is able to magnify and propagate itself too, like energy, it cannot be created or destroyed, it will simply move from one state to another. Take the recent news for example, a little girl got her toe severed while taking a faulty escalator, then the following day, another little girl got trapped by the escalator as well~~~ in juz two days, two very similar accidents happened. notice the coincidence? still dun believe? can u recall there was a time that almost every week, reports of commercial plane crash occurring all over the world? even our own silk air crashed.. coincidence again? Take the huang na missing case, similar cases of little girls missing start to surface quite frequently in the news after her death....news like these left an impact in our minds and the more we think abt it, the more likely it will happen.

So that means i am gg to tik abt smth good and happy frm now onwards.. juz that i duno wat i wan for the moment... maybe to have a life like the one in A Good Year is not too bad...

Well wat ever it is... all i ever wanted to do now is to lie down in a hammock, rite infront of the clear blue sea so i can enjoy the breeze, under the leafy shade... juz me and my book for the whole sunny afternoon. bliss...

recently, i seemed to be addicted to lisa ono's jazz.... simply luv her voice and the way she does her thing. from mondae to fri, its lisa from 9 to 6... i tik i am crazy.

gg kayaking tml... need my slp

nitez

bryan

Are you watching closely?

2006-10-22T23:23:00.000+08:00

11:20pm Sun 22nd October 2006

Manchester Utd 2 Liverpool 0

Darn.... the truth really do hurts. At least i can handle it better now, its simply juz a game isn't it? sigh~

Phew, finally i'm into the 4th week of my employment, farnie thing is, i was never late for work, not even once, well, except on my first day ( refer to Primer Día if u wana noe why), the rest of the days i am like reaching office straight on the dot, even when my ankle was injured (btw its so swollen i cldnt fit my foot into my leather shoe and i was acty given 2 days MC for it) i made it a point to wake up earlier so that i will still hop there with my good leg 9am sharp, on time~... its considered a superhuman feat for me oredi if u noe wat kind of person i am, i am ALWAYS late for lecturers, i skip lecturers like nobody's business... i dread waking up early in the morning, frens have called me an owl, a bat, a noctornal being... basically i am a person who shuns daylight the way teletubbies puke in front of their vegies... So why the amazing change in me?

Then someone reminded me, "perhaps u really do luv your job"... acty come to think of it, i really do enjoy the company of my colleagues, they are v friendly n farnie yet v serious and capable abt their work, i luv my office desk, "strategically" that is, i am still pretty safe from 'air strikes'...i luv my laptop, well its black... and smaller than wat i am using now ...ok lame, but i do like my manager, whom i find is someone who is always willing to share... i noe i will learn alot from him and i thank him for that. Finally my boss, i remember him saying to me on my first week, smth like, "i noe if i dun let u do smth creative and kept u entirely to ur engineering role, in less than a year, u will leave the company.." , i didnt tik he meant it initially but true to his word, he really did gave me alot of freedom and tasks that helps contribute to marcom and marketing... , wat more can i say? thks Boss! =)

Then another fren told me, "hey, maybe u are all grown up oredi.." well, thats a possibility... do i give pple the impression i am immature? i may be green, but i clearly noe wat i am doin and wat do i wan to achieve be it career, relationship and life... maybe its the way i look? ha i really duno... i am still called "ah boy" by pple... T_T hello, i am 26 oredi!

Managed to catch The Prestige yesterdae, a pretty good movie, its unique in the sense that all answers to your questions came onli after u stepped out of the cinema when u recalled all the things they said and everything that have oredi happened... then u will be led back to the very beginning , the first question, "Are you watching closely?"... ha aniwae brilliant story telling~ go watch it.

hmm then another side of me surfaced recently which made me sit up and take notice abit... i realised i was reading 3 books at the same time. i started wif Anasi Boys, b4 i cld finish, i picked up Neverwhere, then recently i picked up Deception point... at the rate i am going i dun tik i can ever finish my books ... argh wats wrongwif me...

well ok, basically i am quite contented wif the life i am having, its good to sometimes sit down and ask urself, are u happy? sometimes not being sad is a happy thing... i rather stay contented than compared myself to others more successful or even live desperately to fufill my wants rather than my needs... which more than often, i noe i will end up more disappointed than i think i can really handle... which leads back to my previous entry of keeping my status quo in balance... no more disturbances..

I know its highly unlikely juz a few months ago, i will say anything like that... but then again is being contented the way things are going...

a good thing?

bryan

Balancing Act

2006-10-14T04:14:00.000+08:00

04:10am Sat 14th Oct 2006

No Class.

Thats all i can say after watching the movie Departed juz now. Carbon copy of Infernal Affairs plus lots of vulgarities and bullshit. The onli actor whom surpass its original character in Infernal Affairs wld be Jack Nicholson, becoz of jack i give the movie a rating; one star out of five, not becoz he sux but becoz he earned that one star for them, without jack, it cld have been a zero from me.

phew.. finally sitting in front of my fav laptop wif my old trusty radio faithfully tuned to class 95 behind me.. Always luv nights like these, juz me alone in my dimly lit room, a cool glass of water beside me, nice ballads accompanying me all thru out the lonely night. Perhaps lonely is not really the correct word to use, free of disturbances maybe, is wat i really crave n feeling now.

Life itself is really full of disturbances.. disturbances that threatens to distrupt the very status quo we craved to keep in balance. how many times when we walk into the office every morning juz hoping that things do not turn out rotten at the end of the day? then when we look back at the many things we did or cld do for the company and compare it to the amount of salary they gave us... u wondered, does this balance really tally?

Balance itself is an interesting word, from the very first day we tried to balance ourselves on both legs, balancing has since become the very part and parcel of our lives... not onli we learned how to balance play, work and study, we have to learn how to balance our emotions, be it relationships, kinship and friendships, happiness, sadness, anger, tears... suddenly we realised we have to balance our time too coz there is always a time to be sad, there's always a time to be happy, and of coz when the time comes to rest and relax, we have to plan and strategize on how we cld better balance further uncertainties we might encounter in the future...

so its all abt balancing.. but can u remember the very first time u lost ur balance? you fell down on ur knees, ur knee might have bled, u cried, u felt pain... now, recall the last time u lost ur balance, do u felt pain? did u had tears? are u hurt? It felt the same way isn't it?

perhaps we are not meant to walk on both legs after all....

....so why insist?

Bryan

Primer Día

2006-10-02T23:49:00.000+08:00

11:47pm Mondae 2nd Oct 2006

Woke up cool and relaxed at 7, took a 15 mins shower, 10 mins breakfast, 10 mins papers, getting ready for work 20 mins b4 the scheduled time to leave the house, everything is timed to precision from the v moment i wake up in order to meet the needs of a efficient and effective corporate working lifestyle.... 1st day, simply no room for imperfection.

Reality...; argh!! belt that doesnt fit the pants??!... why?! tot its all standard size?? *faint on the spot ... changed into another pair of pants, now it doesnt match my shirt! *hit my head on the side of the bed when i faint the 2nd time... darn, i am 10 mins over my scheduled time to leave the hse! quickly grab my barang barang rush out onli to realised i forget to bring my ear piece! argh... sigh... no songs to accompany my lonesome 35mins trip.. to sum it up i was 5 mins late! argh ... "imperfection" stamped straight on my face...

Hmm always interesting to observe to faces of pple on the train... hmm let me recall the sms i sent to SG.

" Am in the crowded train now surrounded by anxious sleepy looking people... No one is similing tho, everyone seems to hav a clear idea how their day will turn out..."

I duno when the day comes when i will look like them... but due to some blithesome reasons, i noe it wun be any time soon... reasons so amazing i am convinced, that the universe has its own distinct way of working itself ard pple.

You noe who u are =)

Bryan

Pieces of Me.

2006-09-22T15:16:00.000+08:00

Spent the past 2 days revamping my room. Hmmm no special reason for that... juz the kind of thing i will do every year.

Perhaps its exactly the sort of things a cancerian will do... v home oriented, nostalgic and sensitive abt the little things thats ard me... hmm kind of luv everything thats in my room, my old radio, a gift to me by dad during seconday sch days, my toys esp my Back to the Future and Matrix trilogy collection, including my soft toys which i kept from the very first teddy bear given to me when i am still playing dolls wif my neighbours' kids, my desk and of coz not to forget my trusty 2 yr old laptop which spent countless nights wif me doin assignments during uni days ... my Liverpool FC collection, my red rug, my lego.. etc etc.. All of them has a piece of me in them at a different stage of my life, like wise, every one of them plays a significant part in shaping the way i am todae...

I am truely grateful for that.

Thanks dad for ur efforts~ =)

Bryan

I Wish You Love...

2006-09-19T13:03:00.000+08:00

1:02pm Tuesdae 19th Sept 2006

Play back to the year 2000 when the sun is warm and gentle while the trees are green and leafy, return to the very same wooden seat at Starbucks when it all begin and where everything just seems so wonderful and sweet... If i am in a coma right now, this is exactly the very place i wan to be...

I Wish You Love...

I wish you bluebirds in the spring
To give your heart a song to sing
Then a kiss
But more than this
I wish you love

And in July a lemonade
To cool you in some leafy glade
I wish you health
And more than wealth
I wish you love

My breaking heart
and I agree
That you and I could never be
So with my best
My very best
I set you free

I wish you shelter from the storm
And a cozy fire to keep you warm
And most of all
When snowflakes fall
I wish you love...

Thanks for Everything.

2006-09-01T03:36:00.000+08:00

3.30am Fridae Morning 1st September 2006

*cough! *cough~!.. argh irritating cough just wouldnt go away... every cough acts almost like a nagging reminder; never go kayak and play soccer while u are still sick, or it wun go away! As usual learning things the hard way... feels terrible tho..hai

Spent most part of the week taking medicine, blowing my nose and coughing my testicles off... still have to send those stoopid resumes arghh.. when is it going to stop? when am i gg to find my bloody job??! Always the million dollar question that fades away into my sleep and resurfaces itself again everytime I wake up in the morning. Time passes so slow at times u felt you can catch the flying mosquito wif ur chopsticks yet it could (if it wans to) fast enough to suck you dry b4 u could scream H E L P~! Onli those who have been thru wat i am gg thru now will noe wat i mean.

Mojo critically low, need to get out of the hse fast, meet cousin Ah Da todae to find our liverpool and Cheski jersey. Finally meet the man who is supposed to get it for us at china square central. This guy whom he calls himself Lee looks really funky, with blonde spikey hair, quite fat tho, his partner says we can call him fatty. ha we didnt call him that of coz, but he is quite friendly. Then I found out the shocking truth from Ah Da, this fatso is no other than our famous national team footballer, LEE MUN HOM!! OMG!! He was like the beckham of sg football during my days in poly!! Wat the hell happened to him now we wun know, but he sure is FAT!! Well aniwae our jerseys were all sold out!! no more size!! onli XL left.. hai sadness to infinity...

Had our sucky dinner, head to Adidas shop at suntec to see if they have it or not. XL onli, they said no more~~~!! sibei sian.. Had kopi and am on my way home. Suddenly came the sms from Azhar, "Results are out, Good Luck Bro"... Why so fast? I mean i noe it will be out this week, but y now? hai.. juz when i tot my sadness cant go any further, suddenly another bomb for me to worry abt.

My worried mind cant stop but thinking abt the wat ifs as i count my footsteps on my way home. wat if i really flunk my finals? wat if i didnt get my uppers? I noe very well i screwed up my software engineering paper... wat if?? hai... how many steps have i stopped at oredi?

Reach home, switch on my desktop, walk straight into my room to put my barang barang, I begin to pray. I noe someone is 'out there' protecting me all these while ever since i was a kid. I have heard stories from mum how i was 'saved' while i am still a baby, I have prayed hard b4 and things really did work out for me whenever i pray really hard for it. After wat happened to dad's miraculous 4D strike last week, I have to believe, there has to be God, or some supernatural being 'out there' protecting us, they have to be there right?

I put the amulet into my right pocket, walk back to my pc and i logged on to my student portal.

After I seen my results I just duno wat to say... call me religious, bandan, siao, watever.. I just wish to say, Thk you whoever you are 'out there'. =)

Classification: SECOND UPPER CLASS HONOURS

Friday Sun

2006-08-25T22:27:00.000+08:00

11.30pm Fridae 25th August 2006

I went to a job interview at suntec this morning, took the train to city hall from there i walk my way to suntec. Juz like any other male working subject walking beside me, i was wearing a dark blue tie coupled with neatly ironed shirt and pants, finally nicely decorated with a pair of brightly polished leather shoes..hai.. business pple calls it 'formal wear' and guess like some legitimated law, those candidates who failed to comply will be known to have a sloppy attitude and deem unsuitable for the job. Hmm since when our ability is first judged by the clothes we wear? Felt like i am prostituting myself in return for a job.

Okey maybe i am exaggarating, maybe its the tie.. cant breathe~ argh :P Oh, did i mention i hope i can get the job? YES pls give me the job!

Maybe i do need a breather, so i went straight to east coast meeting kenneth to kayak. And thank who ever u are up there for giving us such a great weather! Sunshine at its very best, at least i get to see a huge sandcastle and kenneth mutating to giant walkng lobster!

After kayak went Subway for dinner, and slept my way home on bus 851.

Forgetful Turtle

2006-08-16T18:28:00.000+08:00

630pm 16th August 2006

Didnt realised its been 13 days since i last updated my blog until i saw the date on top. Pretty stoned now, cldn't recall the precise things i did or anything that has happened during this period of time really, feels like I've juz woke up from a coma. Wat the hell is happening...?

Juz reached home from my 3rd job interview of the week. The 1st interview on Mondae was for the position of Web Marketing Executive with Mediacorp, tho i wld prefer them to change it to Web Master instead coz guess all they really need is a dreamweaver savvy person to maintain the webpage for them, nuthin much really. The 2nd interview with SoundBuzz yesterdae as the name suggests was very interesting. I went there for the position of Content Coordinator, a job that really interests me alot and i do believe i have alot to offer as well. However this job requires relevant working experience they probably wld not consider me since i am fresh grad. Sigh. But i am gonna still prepare for the SQL test tho juz in case if they REALLY do call...juz maybe need to recall the SQL stuff i have learned during year one.

The 3rd interview todae was at Genesys Conferencing for the role of the Marketing Executive. The manager who interviewed me was a former SIM University of London graduate as well~ He mentioned that he was the one who started the SIM soccer competition, ha my very own senior. I remember Fairuz was asking me to form a team, guess i was too busy to join then. what am i busy wif exactly? Cant remember as well... Back to the interview. "Define Marketing" he asked. Cant believe i struggled wif a simple textbook question. Despite all the preparations, i still missed out the most simple and straightforward of them all. Argh! But somehow subconsciously, I managed to squeezed out some Marketing concepts i recall memorizing like hell during my exams 2 years ago T_T. Pray I didnt screw things up again.

At the end of the day i still do hope that i get either the Content Coordinator job wif SoundBuzz or the Marketing Executive job wif Genesys. Either both i will be really happy =) Give Turtle a chance to fly will ya?!

okey, I probably noe my chances la... T_T "

Juz to share two songs, One is my all time fav 你把我灌醉 by 黄大伟 (Thks Jan) and the other one is climbing up my all time favourites chart at a really alarming rate, Tears and Rain by James Blunt (Thks Keryn).

Songs that never fails to calm my restless mind...

你把我灌醉（黄大伟）

开　往城市边缘开
把车窗摇下来　用速度换一点痛快
孤单　被热闹的夜赶出来
却无从告白　是你留给我的悲哀
哦　爱　让我变得看不开
哦　爱　让我自找伤害

你把我灌醉　你让我流泪
扛下了所有罪　我拼命挽回
你把我灌醉　你让我心碎
爱得收不回

猜　最好最坏都猜
你为何离开　可惜没有答案
对我　你爱得太晚
又走得太快　我的心你不明白
哦　爱　让我变得看不开
哦　爱　让我自找伤害

我梦到那里你都在　
怎么能忘怀你那神秘的笑脸　
是不是说放不下你是我活该

Tears and Rain -- James Blunt

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.

I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

Singapore Pools

2006-08-03T22:22:00.000+08:00

1025pm August 3rd 2006

Not sure why, time passes by pretty fast this week. Some weeks pass by so fast there isn't time for things to be done, while some weeks are so ridiculously slow that more than many occassions I felt aimless and lost, there were even times whr i question my very existance, which was pretty depressing. This week however, everything begins and happens on the right note, nice. =)

Spent the whole Sundae and Mondae sending resumes, taking v careful this time to avoid positions that says "Sales and Marketing Executive 5 Day week (Town Area)". Dunch wanna go thru another walk in the jungle of madness again. Expectedly, minus the all sales positions, I onli received one call this week for a possible job interview. Hmm but this one sounds pretty interesting tho, Content Management Executive with the Singapore Pools. Seriously i have no idea wat is it abt, but i do noe that it requires me to be competent in Photoshop, Illustrator and Dreamweaver. Think i shld be able to cope ba~

I was told to give them 2 poster designs relevant to Singapore Pools. So i came out wif these. Hopefully these 2 posters are enough to land me the job~

nua
Bryan

Ikea

2006-07-28T22:22:00.000+08:00

1030pm July 28 2006

After rejecting all the crappy interviews, i realised i have precious time alone to myself again. Yesterdae went out wif kenneth, had steamboat at bugis wif lots of cheenah pple (sorry!). Wake up this morning still v full from the hotdogs and luncheon meat kenneth kept stuffing my plate wif, cldn't even my breakfast todae argh. Suddenly decided to go ikea for a walk.

Reached ikea ard 4pm, lots of pple.. there were tai tais and their expensive handbags, mothers chasing after their kids, families taking a walk, grps of students fooling ard and couples holding hands dreaming of their new homes. Then i realised I was there alone, juz me and my book.

Walked aimlessly ard, hmm realised ikea didn't change any bit at all. Chairs, Sofas, Beds, tables, everyone of them are still at their respective designated areas. I walk into the crowded dining area, everyone are still having their meatballs, chicken wings and fish n chips, guess nuthin much had changed at all. Saw a v familiar seat, its was empty so i sat down took a breather and looked at all the pple and things thats ard me. Everything looks exactly the way it is one year ago. Order 2 pieces of Chicken wings, and a cup of coffee, onli this time no one is sharing them wif me. =(

Watched a v beautiful movie on mondae, The Lake House by Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock (the auntie). Nobody knows how much i wish i can have a love story as beautiful as this. I know it can nvr happen in real life or at least to me, but deep down i juz hope smth like that can acty happen. I dunno why, when Keanu said smth in the movie, "I've nvr met someone or seen anything as REAL as her b4, I Love her.." , somehow i can really really feel and understand wat is he trying to say. I really do... sigh

ha, this movie is definately gg inside my DVD collection v soon. =)

Took me ard 2 hours to reach home. The big jam, the rain, and crowded pple on the bus and sad love songs on my mp3 player filled my lonely evening. Hmm hw come todae so moody~ ? ha~
oh Earth Angel is home.

gonna end here.

Bryan

Nitez

2006-07-24T04:29:00.000+08:00

430am 24th July 2006

Above is a collab btw me n shufen~ drawing was done by Shufen when she is still a v young girl, painting was done by me todae. :D

Juz finished watching DVD "Philadelphia" by Tom Hanks and Denzel Washington, fantastic movie. Pretty tired now, finally gg to sleep. Looking forward to tuesdae's oil painting session wif Ivy yey~!

Bryan

Sad-turdae Evening

2006-07-22T17:34:00.000+08:00

5.30pm 22 July 2006

Juz reach home sweaty n sticky from a job interview. Feeling tired and too lazy to do anything else cept maybe stare at my jar of cookies, its the onli thing thats keeping me happy these days.

I met someone earlier todae, who is v rich and successful (in his own definition) gave a talk on how we the fresh grads shld be clear of the goals we wan in our lives and work hard towards these goals in order to be successful... juz like him. Then he went on tok abt the time when he first graduated, how he got disillusioned by the corporate world, climbing the corporate ladder all ur life and finally gets retrenched when u r old and a big fat liability to the firm...blah blah, all at the young age of 25. So he says, he dun wan to be a can of coke selling at 45cent in the supermarket, he wans to be the $7.90 per can of coke selling at 5 star hotels. So wat must the can of coke in the supermarket do? he says the key word is to change market. By changing market, that can of coke in the supermarket will become the coke at the 5 star hotel. So he change his profession (from a auditor) and worked towards his goal to become the $7.90 can of coke. Well, to be fair, he at the age of 36 is a wealthy man now, to prove that he even showed us his annual salary for 2005, a little over $400K mark.

Impressive numbers... only that i feel all these nonsense had onli one purpose, which is to INSTILL their ideology of being successful and TELLING us wat shld be the goals we must achieve in our lives.

Of coz, some pple left, one even protested questioning the purpose of this interview, why claim itself to be a Marketing Executive position when Financial Advisors or Planners watever u call it, is wat really u are looking for? Guess wat? The interviewer puts down his happy mask and said, "I did not ask for your opinion Mister, If u wanna argue wif me, I will not hesitate to show you the door!". Wif that, the protest went silent and more pple left the room.

Surprisingly i stayed till the end, perhaps i guess its kind of rude to interupt like that? i am not sure. But thks to this interview, I know more clearly now the goals i wanna achieve and the path to reach these goals. I am definately not a can of coke or some product on the shelf, I know i am much more than that.

Recently, my goals hit a snag, a v good partner is leaving for Taiwan, despite my obvious sadness, deep down i really wanna wish her success coz i noe v well after a chat wif her at TCC some time back, how much this opportunity means to her, so from the deepest of my heart i wish her happinest. watever it is, i will reserve this 'chair' for u, so u can continue whr u left off after u come back from Taiwan! >_-

hmm yummy lovely cookies lying in front of me~ maybe i eat one now hiakhiak

Quick painting of some clouds.. boliao me

Bryan

Birthday.

2006-07-20T00:47:00.000+08:00

125am 20th July 2006

Feeling both drowsy n tipsy now coz of the tiramisu birthdae cake~ oh my, the alcohol content is so strong! ha.. its always when i am drowsy, i dare to say things nvr had confidence to say... but more often than not, those words always sound silly, unstructured and "lots of grammer mistakes"...

ha birthdae this year was a quiet affair. There were no rose petals that leads from the door to a rose pillow, no gf who wears ur birthdae pressie on herself, no romantic home made dinner, juz me and my family having dinner together at sakae followed by a movie together, and finally a small candles blowing session b4 they go to bed. Without fail, my family will always be there for me.. i know deep down i am a blessed child. No matter wat happens i will always have their love, they will always have mine~

I like to thk a number of pple for making my birthdae a special one~ thks Meiting for Neil Gaiman's book; Anansi's Boys ( i am a big fan of his! Thks!), thks Shufen for your stickers and table tennis bats ( They are really the funniest pressies i have ever received), thks Janice for the happy birthdae wish on the 12am dot! Thks Corrinne, for the cookies, tho it didn't made it to my house, but i really appreciate ur efforts considering u are such a lazy gal! heh~ thks SinLing for the early birthdae wish, thks Keryn for ur birthdae song and "oreo birthdae cake"! thks kok shin and Jiana for the testimonials, Kok shin when are u coming back?? u still in Aust? Jiana u married?? haha congras! Thks Ah Da, Jack bro, Ronnie and chief for the birthdae wishes~

Ha as usual no birthdae wishes from my own gang~ i remb we made a farnie promise many years ago nvr to celebrate each other's birthdae haha, onli few days ago did we realised that the dae we r watching Brazil vs France was actually junwei's birthdae! well hope this promise will last for eternality, if u guys understand wat i mean >_- . This Saturdae go play Risk again ah~

Thks Earth Angel for the encouragement juz now~ will work on my weakness!

Tipsy but happy
Bryan

5x30 = 150?

2006-07-17T20:49:00.001+08:00

Mondae 845pm 17th July 2006

Ooo, wake up 12pm todae..again argh. All these late nights are really no good for the body. Getting v hard to slp these days, they say old pple find it hard to slp, maybe they are right.. ha 2 more days to 26. I am expecting huge changes to my life in the next 5 years to come, i am embracing it for sure tho.
Oh, TurtleCanFly was given a new look.~ some say previous white is better, some say black.. hmm personally i think black is better coz the colors are able to stand out on their own. hmm well, wat the heck.. oh spent the day looking at jobs, updating my resume and sent ard 5 resumes. Say i sent 5 per day, end of the month i wld have sent 150! wow crazy sia, like kenneth said, are there 150 jobs that will interests me?
Wats really interests me is working inside MDA or MICA, I dunno whether i can get it or not, but i sure hope they gave me a chance! Ok gonna sent them my resume tomolo~
Went to gym and a jog in the evening, i was nvr a gym person, hence was stoning there most of the time, looking at charts and instructions on how to use the machines correctly T_T. Smth puzzles me tho, wats gg on thru the minds of those guys staring at their bicheps inside the mirror while lifting dumbbells? Do they really think those bicheps is gg to get them anywhr? hmm maybe they do, i nvr have bicheps the size of my butt before so i can't really say. Maybe the word DumbBell says it all.

Shall attach some pics from the time at Minds Cafe, CgOverdrive and the lighter weizhi gave me the other day, nice weekend~ Pls let me have an early sleep tonite!

Angels and Demons

2006-07-14T01:23:00.000+08:00

845pm 13 July 2006 www.TurtleCanFly.com is born

2 weeks of learning, running ard, banging(my head) tearing (my hair!), and not to forget all the sleepless nights, finally this small Turtle is up! phew... I like thk all the angels who've gave me all the help in every way they can especially when i have been in my most pathetic self in the mist of everything ha~ Firstly I like say a Big thank kew to Koh ShuFen for all her patience teaching me Dreamweaver 3 (yes retro Dreamweaver 3 still rocks!). thks Banchye, for his selfless help wif all hosting and uploading stuff~ yup i will remember to give you lots of through balls for u to score on Sat soccer sessions!~ Thks Bing also for ur valuable advices in helping me upload my stuff on thru the ftp~ final big thks everyone!!

hmm one more thing, if any of u guys are getting a domain and hosting, DO NOT go to www.focushub.net~ i paid them for the domain and hosting initially and not onli that they did not gave me my domain name, they failed to gave reply any of my emails i've sent them. wats worse is, the hotline they put on their website is not working at all. ah! v bad service... demons in the making.

Well, its not so bad coz at least i've learned not dwell on smth thats oredi a thing of the past~ at the end of the dae, I did achived wat i've set out to do and its time to move on to my next goal! As long as keep making things happen, i know i will reach my ultimate goal eventually~ jia you!

Bryan

City of Turtles

2006-07-11T03:54:00.000+08:00