Are you watching closely?

11:20pm Sun 22nd October 2006


Manchester Utd 2 Liverpool 0


Darn.... the truth really do hurts. At least i can handle it better now, its simply juz a game isn't it? sigh~

Phew, finally i'm into the 4th week of my employment, farnie thing is, i was never late for work, not even once, well, except on my first day ( refer to Primer Día if u wana noe why), the rest of the days i am like reaching office straight on the dot, even when my ankle was injured (btw its so swollen i cldnt fit my foot into my leather shoe and i was acty given 2 days MC for it) i made it a point to wake up earlier so that i will still hop there with my good leg 9am sharp, on time~... its considered a superhuman feat for me oredi if u noe wat kind of person i am, i am ALWAYS late for lecturers, i skip lecturers like nobody's business... i dread waking up early in the morning, frens have called me an owl, a bat, a noctornal being... basically i am a person who shuns daylight the way teletubbies puke in front of their vegies... So why the amazing change in me?

Then someone reminded me, "perhaps u really do luv your job"... acty come to think of it, i really do enjoy the company of my colleagues, they are v friendly n farnie yet v serious and capable abt their work, i luv my office desk, "strategically" that is, i am still pretty safe from 'air strikes'...i luv my laptop, well its black... and smaller than wat i am using now ...ok lame, but i do like my manager, whom i find is someone who is always willing to share... i noe i will learn alot from him and i thank him for that. Finally my boss, i remember him saying to me on my first week, smth like, "i noe if i dun let u do smth creative and kept u entirely to ur engineering role, in less than a year, u will leave the company.." , i didnt tik he meant it initially but true to his word, he really did gave me alot of freedom and tasks that helps contribute to marcom and marketing... , wat more can i say? thks Boss! =)

Then another fren told me, "hey, maybe u are all grown up oredi.." well, thats a possibility... do i give pple the impression i am immature? i may be green, but i clearly noe wat i am doin and wat do i wan to achieve be it career, relationship and life... maybe its the way i look? ha i really duno... i am still called "ah boy" by pple... T_T hello, i am 26 oredi!

Managed to catch The Prestige yesterdae, a pretty good movie, its unique in the sense that all answers to your questions came onli after u stepped out of the cinema when u recalled all the things they said and everything that have oredi happened... then u will be led back to the very beginning , the first question, "Are you watching closely?"... ha aniwae brilliant story telling~ go watch it.

hmm then another side of me surfaced recently which made me sit up and take notice abit... i realised i was reading 3 books at the same time. i started wif Anasi Boys, b4 i cld finish, i picked up Neverwhere, then recently i picked up Deception point... at the rate i am going i dun tik i can ever finish my books ... argh wats wrongwif me...

well ok, basically i am quite contented wif the life i am having, its good to sometimes sit down and ask urself, are u happy? sometimes not being sad is a happy thing... i rather stay contented than compared myself to others more successful or even live desperately to fufill my wants rather than my needs... which more than often, i noe i will end up more disappointed than i think i can really handle... which leads back to my previous entry of keeping my status quo in balance... no more disturbances..




I know its highly unlikely juz a few months ago, i will say anything like that... but then again is being contented the way things are going...

a good thing?





bryan

Balancing Act

04:10am Sat 14th Oct 2006

No Class.

Thats all i can say after watching the movie Departed juz now. Carbon copy of Infernal Affairs plus lots of vulgarities and bullshit. The onli actor whom surpass its original character in Infernal Affairs wld be Jack Nicholson, becoz of jack i give the movie a rating; one star out of five, not becoz he sux but becoz he earned that one star for them, without jack, it cld have been a zero from me.

phew.. finally sitting in front of my fav laptop wif my old trusty radio faithfully tuned to class 95 behind me.. Always luv nights like these, juz me alone in my dimly lit room, a cool glass of water beside me, nice ballads accompanying me all thru out the lonely night. Perhaps lonely is not really the correct word to use, free of disturbances maybe, is wat i really crave n feeling now.

Life itself is really full of disturbances.. disturbances that threatens to distrupt the very status quo we craved to keep in balance. how many times when we walk into the office every morning juz hoping that things do not turn out rotten at the end of the day? then when we look back at the many things we did or cld do for the company and compare it to the amount of salary they gave us... u wondered, does this balance really tally?

Balance itself is an interesting word, from the very first day we tried to balance ourselves on both legs, balancing has since become the very part and parcel of our lives... not onli we learned how to balance play, work and study, we have to learn how to balance our emotions, be it relationships, kinship and friendships, happiness, sadness, anger, tears... suddenly we realised we have to balance our time too coz there is always a time to be sad, there's always a time to be happy, and of coz when the time comes to rest and relax, we have to plan and strategize on how we cld better balance further uncertainties we might encounter in the future...

so its all abt balancing.. but can u remember the very first time u lost ur balance? you fell down on ur knees, ur knee might have bled, u cried, u felt pain... now, recall the last time u lost ur balance, do u felt pain? did u had tears? are u hurt? It felt the same way isn't it?



perhaps we are not meant to walk on both legs after all....


....so why insist?





Bryan

Primer Día

11:47pm Mondae 2nd Oct 2006

Woke up cool and relaxed at 7, took a 15 mins shower, 10 mins breakfast, 10 mins papers, getting ready for work 20 mins b4 the scheduled time to leave the house, everything is timed to precision from the v moment i wake up in order to meet the needs of a efficient and effective corporate working lifestyle.... 1st day, simply no room for imperfection.

Reality...; argh!! belt that doesnt fit the pants??!... why?! tot its all standard size?? *faint on the spot ... changed into another pair of pants, now it doesnt match my shirt! *hit my head on the side of the bed when i faint the 2nd time... darn, i am 10 mins over my scheduled time to leave the hse! quickly grab my barang barang rush out onli to realised i forget to bring my ear piece! argh... sigh... no songs to accompany my lonesome 35mins trip.. to sum it up i was 5 mins late! argh ... "imperfection" stamped straight on my face...

Hmm always interesting to observe to faces of pple on the train... hmm let me recall the sms i sent to SG.

" Am in the crowded train now surrounded by anxious sleepy looking people... No one is similing tho, everyone seems to hav a clear idea how their day will turn out..."

I duno when the day comes when i will look like them... but due to some blithesome reasons, i noe it wun be any time soon... reasons so amazing i am convinced, that the universe has its own distinct way of working itself ard pple.

You noe who u are =)

Bryan